The New ATM Machine


It has been quite a while since I’ve had to use the local ATM machine at my credit union. My tax return check had come in so I made plans to deposit it with speed and efficiency.

I had it down to a science. I had a stash of ATM envelopes at home so I could put in my deposit slip, endorse the check and fill out the required information on the envelope in the comfort of my home. Make my run, pop in the card, tap the buttons, insert envelope and I’m out of there in about two minutes max!

Slick, right?
I prepare my deposit slip, endorse the check. I go to the ATM at the credit union and see it is a new machine. Nice!
I do the usual punch button routine and get ready to ‘insert envelope.’ I find that it no longer takes envelopes! There is no slot big enough for an envelope. It just wants the naked check!

Fibble fumble with an envelope that now thinks it is Fort Knox and refuses to open.
The machine, of course is demanding the naked check, humming, hissing and clanking irritably.
I finally get the envelope open and feed in the check. I didn’t notice I had also fed in my deposit slip so the machine took umbrage and spat both back at me, rather contemptuously, I might add.
I drop the check
Being old and creaky, picking up a check now laying, nay, clinging, flat on the ground is something of a battle.
I finally pick it up and feed it into the now nearly furious machine.
Mission accomplished! Charlie Chaplin would have been proud!

The four people waiting for me to finish my act, not so much…